Sunday, October 24, 2010

can feminine equal strong?

I like chick flicks, make-up, high heels, fashion magazines, jewelery(especially rings), hunky leading men, romance, PINK,manicures and pedicures,hanging out with my girlfriends and late night gossip. Does this make me shallow? of low intelligence? I also don't shy away from hard work, I have the ability to walk into any place alone, I can pump my own gas, drive a stick shift, cut the grass, climb a ladder, swing a hammer, take out the garbage and discipline my children.  Do these things make me "butch" or any less feminine. They are the things that make this woman  ~  a woman.

I know a great many women. So many different types. Some who claim to be strong and independent ( some who are, and some who,clearly aren't), some who eschew all types of femininity,(claiming those qualities to be weak), and some who live their lives between the two. Since the feminist movement and the struggle for equality I think the pendulum has swung too far the other way. Women are afraid to be women. We ARE different than men. Why do we feel the need to show how similar we are.Yes we can do the same jobs as men and deserved to be paid the same if we are doing the same job. Yes our vote counts,our opinion counts, WE count. But when did we stop celebrating the differences. Somewhere along the line being feminine became synonymous with weak and fragile. I am here to say that this is not the case! I can wear a dress and make-up and high heels and still be a strong woman. I can swoon over a good looking man and still be independent. I can giggle with my girlfriends and still be intelligent. These are things that make me happy. I'm starting to resent the implication that if I like GIRLY things that it somehow does not make me a STRONG 

woman.  I resent the fact that some think I've been lured in by propaganda because I like to buy potions and lotions and creams. I resent that people judge me (or others like me) who enjoy a great pair of shoes and nice new purse, somehow insinuating that they are 'better" than me (or us) because they don't "go in for all that stuff". Seriously? That is your CHOICE and thankfully you have it. But I also have the choice. That's the great thing about equality. We have the ability to be OURSELVES and to be accepted for it. Women are so competitive. We are such a strong force that, should we join together to try and  accomplish something, we can conquer the world. But we CHOOSE to point out the differences of what it means to be a woman.To condemn those differences if they do not match our own thoughts on what a woman should be. Taking special effort to look the way you look , does NOT make you shallow.

 Remember that we all have a story. We all have a history that has shaped us to be who we are. The next time you see a woman who dresses different than you, DON'T judge her. This is not to say that I don't have my days where I do nothing but stay in my sweats all day's not what I prefer.We all know that beauty is more than skin deep. It's what I teach my daughter. You don't have to wear make-up to be pretty but if it's what makes you feel good;then that's ok too. If wearing nice clothes and shoes makes you feel more like yourself, then no one else should judge you for that.  If you see a young girl who is dressed in the latest fashions and has her hair done just so, don't assume her parents haven't taught her all about self esteem, and being true to yourself, and that she is more than her looks. You CAN have it all!

I guess I'm done with my rant now. I'm going to go wash my face and slip into a slinky nightgown. I'm going to turn on the sappiest show on tv (hopefully one with a good looking leading man), and have a great night sleep with possibly a few x-rated dreams. :)


  1. Haha that was quite the rant!!! And you know I love a good one:).
    I could say a lot of the opposite things about how a person can still be feminine and not like pink, heels, and shopping...those are just more about preferences not a judgement on those who do like it:). Sometimes we just put all of that crap on our own one was thinking anything but that you are a smart attractive and very feminine woman! We hear you roar and we like it:) also you know my daughter finds you to be mighty stylin and she is one strong little girl who wants to be feminine and stylin like you too!!

  2. P.s. Not sure if you are a fan of Hugh grant... I know he is a little fella, but one of my fav movies is on right now: 4 weddings and a funeral!

  3. You can drive stick? You're my hero! From one hammer swinging woman to another, I don't wait for a man to come knocking on my door to help this lady in distress. If I did, my house would falling down around me.
    I may look meek and mild, under this little chassi beats the heart of a bull! Stubborn, strong and sensitive. Love reading your blog, Erin! You're my inspiration!

  4. ya that's kind of my point,Bobbi. You don't need to be pink and girly to be feminine. It's just that that is more RECOGNIZABLE as being feminine.And as such...seems to be looked at as a weakness. I think that both you AND Dani are strong women(one girl).Liking girly things doesn't make you any less strong! and btw.....I did watch Four weddings and a funeral. at least until Hugh and Andy got together. ;)

  5. Here's the thing, because I think we are both sort of saying the same thing...You could be wearing a pink lacy frou frou dress and still not one person would think you meek or weak! You ARE a strong woman, no matter what your preference for attire is or movies or kisses are. You liking girly things is just something that STRONG Erin does. Ironically I tend to think women who have the heels, jewelry, the right outfit etc come off as stronger, but that's my perception of a strong woman at times. Maybe because I see it as my weakness, that I don't like girly things more. but I don't...therefore, that is what STRONG Bobbi does.

    Did Hugh and Andy gross you out!?! lol

  6. VERY interesting!!!!! I am enlightened by your comment! It did kind of gross me out with Hugh and Andy because they were so young. I like the older Hugh and Andy!

  7. "Remember that we all have a story. We all have a history that has shaped us to be who we are." Well said Erin~very well said! This is a great tribute!


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