Thursday, June 16, 2011

saying good-bye

I hate it. I'm not good at good-byes. They're getting harder and harder. Shouldn't something be easier, the more you do it? I had to say good-bye to all my friends and family when I left Ontario to move to Alberta. It seems as though I have been saying good-bye ever since. I said good-bye to Medicine Hat when I moved to Sault Ste Marie, and then again to the Soo when I moved to Calgary. Said good-bye to a few in Calgary when I moved to Three Hills. and since living here, have had to say good-bye to many friends who have left. I hate it! It breaks my heart every time. Sure there's skype, and fb, and twitter, and letters and phone calls; but................... the face to face, and hugs, and shared laughter are just not there, and it hurts. The pain is less with time but I still ache a little when I think about it. I wonder if it will ever go away?

I must admit though; I find myself pulling away from the people who have left or are leaving. Not intentionally but.....It must be some sort of defense mechanism. I know I shouldn't; and when I become aware, I try to get  back to where I was before. Not always easy, but I try! anyway.......that's what's on my mind tonight. Wishing I was stronger, better equipped at handling the tough good byes! How do YOU cope? Or is it hard for you to say good bye? Some people are just better at it than others, I guess.


  1. I hear ya. I feel the same way!!!! I used to cry like a baby every time, but now I don't anymore. but I'm not sure if it's a good thing. I do the same thing as you--distance myself. Am I doing that so I don't have to feel the pain? Should I be more honest with my feelings and allow myself to cry?

  2. I'm not sure. That's what I struggle with. Is it a sign of weakness? Or do we just feel so intensely. Is it something that should be controlled? or just allowed. Either way I still feel the pain; so I think it best to let it out and not keep it inside. Let the tears flow.

  3. I'm totally the same. When I know someone is only going to be around for a short time, I tend to avoid getting to know them. Other times, if someone announces they are moving away or somethings are drastically changing, I pull away too. There are other things that cause me to pull away, but this is the biggie. I grew up as a staff kid at a camp/boarding school and everyone was always leaving...except us. It taught me to avoid close relationships. There are a couple of people who have left for years at a time, yet somehow we can still pick up where we left off, but the vast majority are not that way. It sucks!

  4. I was going to name my post today the same. We have started our goodbyes as everything is wrapping up. School teachers, schoolmates, friends. I have never been big on goodbyes, and I usually don't cry. I suppose because the world is small and technology is big and I figure if I really want to see them again I can visit and until then, I have facebook. But then again, I have VERY few close friends, so what do I know.

  5. Could you please tell me the name of the piece of music that is playing on this page..I came across this blog, don't even know how...the music alone, made me a good way...beautiful

  6. I am currently composing a post that echos every thought you've shared here. Goodbye is a loss to me... and I withdraw from it when I see it approaching. I curl up, in an emotional fetal position. or with the ostrich syndrome=if i don't look at it, it doesn't exist.

    Looking at my life, i've pushed so many people away because I continue to not face my fear/ dislike of saying goodbye. I am now facing it, head on... I hope to be able to get through a goodbye knowing it doesn't mean the end.

    I wish you the best.
    (love the music here!--moving)


I truly appreciate your comments and look forward to reading them!