Thursday, October 7, 2010

why the heavy sleeps and nightmares?

So I have been having some bad dreams lately and even if i don't have a bad dream, I have a VERY deep sleep. You know the kind where you are sunk right into your bed and even if something wakes you; you can't move or quite figure out where you are? Anyway....a few people have suggested that perhaps I am stressed while others mentioned that I shouldn't eat before bed. Yesterday I forgot to eat supper. That NEVER happens. I love to eat and every time I read or hear about someone who says "I'm just so busy I forget to eat"; I really just want to cuff them upside the head. As if! But low and behold I did it! Truth be told I wasn't really that busy. Just lost track of time. I was watching Oprah (about that lady who was a hostage for 61/2 years )and when I was done I realized that it was late and I needed to get supper on the table because I had YOGA CLASS at 6! I got supper ready and on the table and then I was off to yoga. I came home and after a while was a little hungry. I remembered I hadn't had supper so that gave me permission to finish off my bag of spitz! LOVE spitz! This alone could have been the cause of my nightmare last night.

Then I started thinking about stress. What did I have to be stressed about? The only thing new in my life was my blog. Was my blog stressing me out? I admit I do have a few butterflies in my stomach when I think about what I should write next. Is anyone going to read it? Will they think it's silly? Regular stuff like that. But then I just think about how good it feels to be doing something new and creative. How good it feels to be heard and to vent. I don't think it's stress from my blog.

What stresses me out the most is actually out of town right now so that's good! lol ;) Those of you who know me well, know what I am talking about. My second stressor I would say is my fat belly. I know I know.We have heard it all before but it DOES stress me out. I carry my weight in the most dangerous spot (according to Dr. Oz and many others)right around my middle. So for health reasons alone, I want to lose it!Of course a girl likes to look nice in clothes too..........:)   I love to shop and lately haven't wanted to because nothing fits properly. I have vowed to do something about it (many times) but now I have a place where I am accountable. I've started walking again, Pilates on Mondays and Yoga on Wednesdays. I also have a friend who is trying to convince me to come to Red Deer on Wednesday mornings for another class. The truth of the matter is that I am 40 now and out of shape. All this working out and exercise and fresh air is hard on this old girl.My body is adjusting and so is my mind. Afraid of failure (again) can be a scary thing. So having figured all that out. I'm going to cut myself some slack and rest when I need to,but keep my motivation high so that eventually I won't need to nap, or fall asleep so hard that it feels like I haven't slept in years.  I WILL lose this weight!!! It's now or never! Maybe tonight I will sleep well but a little lighter. I will also remember to eat supper and NOT snack before bed.I've started on a journey I'm not going to quickly abandon. A few scary dreams are not going to stop me from what I need to do. Hopefully I'm not all talk and no action! LMAO!

1 comment:

  1. Your so right Erin! I find myself so busy at supper trying to feed toddlers that I don't eat enough of the good stuff, that I find myself finishing off a bag of halloween chocolate bars after they go to bed! I think we all struggle with our "self image" everyday what ever it is that we don't like about ourselves and if we let it it could consume us. I love your positive outlook and moving forward attitude. I will remember that the next time I feel myself slipping into the poor may place!


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