Thursday, October 27, 2011

External conflict

So the war within continues.I'm sure it always will. I've always over analyzed things and have had a hard time turning that off. Today however is more about the external things going on around me. My environment, if you will. More specifically, my children.

They are growing. I knew they would. They are changing. I knew they would. They are turning into emotional pre-pubescents with outbursts of uncontrollable feelings. This, I also knew would come. What I didn't count on was the rivalry. The bickering and fighting, the hateful words, the violence, the uncaring, hurtful attitudes. These are children all of the same blood and DNA, but they could not be more dissimilar. It does apply to all 3 of them, but mostly to my boys. They are almost polar opposites. Their relationship (or lack of) is affecting the entire family. They have been talked to lovingly. Reasoned with. Threatened. Punished. Forced to play together. We have done just about everything to get them to get along. While I understand that this is normal, and that boys fight, I have to say that my patience has run out a long time ago. I don't know what to do about it and it's driving me (more) insane!

I must admit they bring out the worst in me when they fight. I lose control and then am no help to the situation.
Anyone have any suggestions?


  1. Whe I don't have the magic answer, I do understand what you are going through. They do grow up and it does get better (usually). I pray for you guys, and believe it will get better. I keep telling my guys that one day they may be all they have left.

  2. Thanks friend! I know I have used those exact words on my boys. One day it will sink in!

  3. I hated my little sister's guts. We were such different people! I used to get deep pleasure out of making her cry, taunting her to frustration. She did it to me, too. We knew how to push each other's buttons, and did so constantly.

    So imagine my surprise one summer when I was 13, and a boy that liked me was teasing my little sister...and when she started crying, I lost it. I knocked the boy down, nearly punched him in the face, and told him to leave my sister alone.

    The rivalry is normal. But you have raised your kids in a loving home, and the default when things get rough will be love, I'll bet. Not fluffy "let's all get along and sing songs" love, but "I'll punch you in the face if you hurt my brother" kind of love. That's more real, anyway.


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