I started a post about my trip to San Francisco but just couldn't finish it. The more I thought about it, the more I thought; "Who wants to hear about someone else's vacation?" Pictures are nice but.......
Anyway....I ditched that post. I put up an album on fb with some pics. That's good enough. We had a wonderful relaxing time and it was good to get away. Being near the water was awesome and I felt very at home. The Napa Valley was amazing and I WILL return one day.
Today I'm finding inspiration in music. I read a few blogs that I follow and the music moved me to write. I've tried to stop blogging about moving to the water. I know some are getting tired of hearing it. Me included. I'm trying to focus on the here and now. Appreciate what is right in front of me, today! It's a struggle. the water is all I think about. "I don't feel like I belong here." "I feel like I should be doing something else." "I don't know what that is, but I know it's not here." Many have heard me say these things time and time again. I can't fully articulate the feeling. It's become so much more now. Years ago it was a nagging feeling. Now it feels like a burning need. It's consuming me. I feel as though time is running out. I hate the pressure it puts on me and those I love. I just can't seem to ignore it though. I've tried. I'm trying still. Projects and every day life are distractions now. They keep me focused on the task at hand, keeping my thoughts away from the fact that I know I should be moving on.
Anyway....that's my rant for tonight. Seems to be what's on my mind since throwing ANOTHER going away party for more friends who are leaving the area.
On a brighter note.....with the thought in mind that I will be moving at some point in my life, I have been purging. Reassessing what I use, what gathers dust, and what should have been thrown out a long time ago. It feels great. Simplifying and getting back to the basics makes me feel lighter somehow. I find my style of decorating has even changed. Getting rid of things that no longer fit with who I am (or am becoming) is the highlight of my days lately. This blog has been truly inspirational to me when it comes to changing my decorating style. Check it out if you have the chance.
Another highlight is visiting my friend in Kamloops. Can't tell you how excited I am about that!!! Miss her dearly.
Anyway....I ditched that post. I put up an album on fb with some pics. That's good enough. We had a wonderful relaxing time and it was good to get away. Being near the water was awesome and I felt very at home. The Napa Valley was amazing and I WILL return one day.
Today I'm finding inspiration in music. I read a few blogs that I follow and the music moved me to write. I've tried to stop blogging about moving to the water. I know some are getting tired of hearing it. Me included. I'm trying to focus on the here and now. Appreciate what is right in front of me, today! It's a struggle. the water is all I think about. "I don't feel like I belong here." "I feel like I should be doing something else." "I don't know what that is, but I know it's not here." Many have heard me say these things time and time again. I can't fully articulate the feeling. It's become so much more now. Years ago it was a nagging feeling. Now it feels like a burning need. It's consuming me. I feel as though time is running out. I hate the pressure it puts on me and those I love. I just can't seem to ignore it though. I've tried. I'm trying still. Projects and every day life are distractions now. They keep me focused on the task at hand, keeping my thoughts away from the fact that I know I should be moving on.
Anyway....that's my rant for tonight. Seems to be what's on my mind since throwing ANOTHER going away party for more friends who are leaving the area.
On a brighter note.....with the thought in mind that I will be moving at some point in my life, I have been purging. Reassessing what I use, what gathers dust, and what should have been thrown out a long time ago. It feels great. Simplifying and getting back to the basics makes me feel lighter somehow. I find my style of decorating has even changed. Getting rid of things that no longer fit with who I am (or am becoming) is the highlight of my days lately. This blog has been truly inspirational to me when it comes to changing my decorating style. Check it out if you have the chance.
Another highlight is visiting my friend in Kamloops. Can't tell you how excited I am about that!!! Miss her dearly.
ahhhhh! Welcome back! I have been looking for this for a long time now! Nice work!
ReplyDeleteIf you can't live by the water (for now :) then the next best thing is decorating as if you do! Interesting website.
ReplyDeleteagreed Jane! btw! how do I comment on YOUR blog? It's good to be back Sheila. Gotta just do it!
ReplyDeletei know exactly how you feel. omgosh do i ever! yes, i know, i am the first one to say 'live in the now, enjoy what is in front of you...' blah blah blah. BUT i am one of those who also struggles with feeling that she doesn't seem to 'fit' where she is right now. i have wanted to move back out to the country where i grew up for a long time; especially since our son was born. i go there to see my parents and the rest of my family and i always let out a big long sigh as i close my eyes and put my head back, my shoulders relax and i feel like that is where i am supposed to be. that's where i feel most at home. it just feels right. like i fit. like we could have an even more amazing life there. i have purged household items, furniture, clothing, 'stuff' in anticipation of 'the home we will have one day in the near future out in the country' and i have even bought things i love because they will fit in 'the home we will have one day in the near future out in the country'. is that sad? maybe. but i call it 'future planning' and 'working towards our goal as a family.' keep it all in perspective - you will get there one day - to your much loved water. in the meantime, work towards it but know that you have to make amazing memories where you are right now so you can look back on them from 'your home near the water' and fondly remember...
ReplyDeleteI finally re-opened my blog up for comments a few weeks ago - just look for 'Comments' at the end of each posting :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jane! Thanks Teres. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there acting like this. How did I know YOU would be the one to be the same? ♥
ReplyDelete