shit rolls down hill

So if you have more than one child, and one of them is being bullied, it doesn't end with the one child. It's been a rough couple of days for this family with a lot of crying and arguing! Because Adam is being teased and taunted and ridiculed at school,(they really know how to get him going), Benjamin has been feeling it too. The kids feel the need to come and tell him what Adam is doing,or what he said. Adam is in in 5/6 split so he shares his classroom with Benjamin's classmates. This is starting to become a huge problem for Benjamin. He is embarrassed by Adam's behavior and feels that if he defends him, he'll lose his friends too. He doesn't want to "become" what Adam is ,by having no friends. While at first glance this seems rude and childish of Benjamin; I can truly understand where he's coming from. This is a time where he (Ben) is also trying to find out where he fits in and who he is. He doesn't want to be defined by his brother. Of course we preach "he is your brother and always will be", "when you don't see your friends anymore, your brother will still be there", " if you can't count on your family,then who can you count on?"While all these things may be true, they are still hard for a boy of 11 to grasp and put into practice. We are all aware that Adam has an artistic mind that can't be tamed. He has different and strange ideas. The problem then, is that he doesn't blend in. He sticks out and is fair game for whomever wants to point it out. There are unfortunately a lot of takers at this school. Benjamin is truly frustrated and feels HE is being punished for something he has no control over. It doesn't end here.....
Olivia came downstairs crying about an hour ago. She feels "stressed out" about Adam. She doesn't know how she can help him. She wants to do more. She says that she is so sad that Adam's feelings are hurt on a regular basis but doesn't know how to fix it.That makes 5 of us. I wish I could tell her the answer. I wish I knew what to do. We WILL get through this, but being IN it is taking its toll. The aggressor in me wants to go to the school and yell at them all. I know that's not the answer but I know it would feel good at the time. I am NOT a fan of homeschooling at all, but....the thought has briefly crossed my mind. These are all things that my kids are going to have to deal with, even as adults. They need to learn how to cope with those bullies that never go away. I'm finding it hard though, to find the words each day to continue encouraging all of them.We are taking it day by day but seriously......something is gonna blow real soon. I just hope it's not my head! LOL

Crying in front of my kids

The culprit

Canister removed and tree in its place

I hit my head today! HARD. I was in the furnace room clearing a spot for the Christmas tree. I was bent over and then when I went to stand up....the canister for the central vac, stopped me from doing so. I bent back over in pain and grabbed my head. I started to whimper and Benjamin (my oldest) came running. The other two,who were also in the basement, followed. Benjamin hugged me and said "are you alright,mom?" I started to cry. I was NOT alright.Adam just stood and stared, letting Benjamin comfort me. Olivia started to laugh and Adam said "Olivia!!" in disgust. I knew she was laughing because she was nervous. I had never cried in front of my children before today because I was physically hurt. I cried before because I was sad, or really mad but never physically in pain. It was kind of interesting to see how everyone reacted. I told Olivia and Adam to clean up their game they were playing and fled upstairs to find Brad. I was still in a lot of pain and I knew more tears were coming. He was in the shower. I lay on the bed crying and trying really hard not to. I'm not apposed to crying, it's just that the more I cried ~ the more it hurt. The top of my head felt like it had been busted open. Brad came out and said "What happened?" (very cautiously I might add). I told him I had hit my head HARD and it really really hurt. He rushed to my side to see if I was bleeding and to see if he could do anything for me. He was a little relieved that I had only banged my head and had not received any bad news. My dad just got out of the hospital on Wednesday and the first thing that came to Brad's mind was that there was trouble with my dad. So after he found out the details he headed downstairs to the scene of the crime.The bottom of the canister has been removed (we don't use it anyway...Love my Dyson) and the tree has been placed in the furnace room. Brad made supper while I lay patiently for the tylenol to kick in. I fell asleep. So after supper I started thinking about all of this. I found it very interesting how the situation made everyone feel. I: tried to hid the fullness of the pain I was in from my children and ran to my husband (my best friend) for help. Benjamin: was the comforter. The one who says "there,there, it's going to be alright" He continued to ask me how I was feeling through the rest of the night. Adam: was the quiet observer,taking in the gravity of the situation. He came to me later as I was resting to hug me. Olivia: was very uncomfortable with the whole situation and laughed nervously. She was actually quite happy that I gave her a task to do to keep her mind off of what was really happening. She later came and asked if there was anything she could "do " for me. And of course Brad: was the fixer. He's the man so he has to FIX things. The canister was removed, supper was made, meds were administered.Had it been pain of the heart he would have been at a loss as to how to fix it ....so he was happy it was just my head! lol They all have their ways of coping. Quite an interesting little stress test. But I assure you.....I did not do this on purpose. My head STILL hurts!