Friday, October 15, 2010
Where do I fit in?
I have my children enrolled in gymnastics and piano lessons. My oldest does safety patrol. I pick up two international students in the morning and take them to school with my own. I am on the board for the Three Hills Arts Academy.I recently helped decorate for their upcoming event. I take a pilates class and a yoga class. I have volunteered in the past to read with the children at school.I have helped with the lunch for the musicians putting on the learning seminar. I used to belong to Kinettes when they still existed. I belong to a book club. My kids have played baseball and soccer. I used to belong to a dress club. (not sure whatever happened to that). I have helped neighbors look for their lost children. I have fed many of them. I have made food for those who have been sick and just had babies. I have volunteered to sell hotdogs to raise money for a local couple doing the kidney march. I have helped organize and plan staff Christmas parties. I have thrown many parties and attended parties to sell, jewellery, books, home interiors, kitchen supplies, clothes and purses.I have met many people I can call friend ,but yet...............I don't feel like I belong here. I did not grow up here and feel that this is a major hit against me. My boys don't play hockey...another hit. We own our own business....another hit. I'm just not sure what is missing.I have heard many people say that this is a hard town to "crack". This is coming from people who have lived in other small towns and seem to single this one out as different, and dare I say cliquey.When I think of "home", I think of our 'house'. Not the town we live in but the actually house. Don't get me wrong....I DO like this town. After staying in Montreal for a week and riding the metro full of unfamiliar faces, it was wonderful to come back to a quiet place where I feel free to let my kids ride their bikes to their friends' houses.Where I can wave to someone on almost every block. Where people say "hello Erin", even though I don't know their name! LOL Still, I feel as though this is temporary. I can't seem to fill my head with the idea that this is HOME. Do I want to move back to Ontario where I grew up? absolutely not. Do I want to move back to Medicine Hat where I completed grade 10,11 and 12? ABSOLUTELY NOT!So what is it then that keeps me from feeling like this is not the place I am supposed to be? If you have the answers, let me know. Until then I will keep plugging along. I know my children are happy here ,so for now, that's all that really matters I guess.