I was a latch key kid. I was raised by my mom and she had to work. When I got home, I didn't stay there for long. I went in search of other kids, other homes, other food. I get it! I've been there.So when I had kids of my own I always wanted my kids to feel that they could welcome anyone to our home. I like knowing where my kids are and what they are up to. I've always wanted to be "
that house" that everyone congregates at. Well for now, my wish has come true.There always seems to be at least 2 or 3 extra kids around here. They like to have snacks after school , some stay for supper, and some are just here to play and then head home. I appreciate this for the most part. As we get into the nicer weather.........there are more and more friends, and more frequently too. I'm getting a little exhausted and secretly wish for the snow again when more of these kids stay home. I don't mind that they are here, or that they eat my food but..........it just wears on a person a little bit. My youngest wants to have a sleepover with her friend. She wants HIM to stay here. He lives 2 houses away. She has known him since the day he was born and they are bosom buddies. At this point, he's already here a lot.That's cool. He goes home at night so that's ok with me. He has never spent the night here and now I feel like I should let her because the only real reason I'm saying 'no', is for my own selfish reasons. I trust them both, he's a good kid, and I know they would have fun. So why do I feel like I'm losing some sort of battle? Why do I feel like I'm giving in when I should be standing my ground? Am I just too bull-headed? Do I just like to get my own way?I'm going to sleep on it tonight and see how I feel in the morning. In the meantime I have asked his mom if it's ok. If she says 'no'...............I guess that get me off the hook! Right now my daughter thinks I'm being totally unreasonable and unfair. She doesn't usually play that card; so I really need to give this some thought and not brush it by the wayside. Hence the blog. I think I have talked it out enough! Thanks for listening( or
reading, as it were) lol
Sometimes we moms make rules/have wishes before we realize the long-lasting effects and results. I remember having to remind myself that most of these "rules" are not set in stone. I made them, so I can change them. It's important to have our kids under control but I don't think it's OK to BE controlling. It can make them feel backed into a corner out of which they will never come because they are the kid and we are the moms.
ReplyDeleteDoes that make ANY sense to you at all?
rg
One of my best friends in elementary school was a boy- Michael Yoshizawa (I only mention the name because Ben loves it how my childhood is filled with names and events that seem to be out of a book) Anyway, I had sleep-overs with him. Probably until about grade 3 or 4...but then again, never had any rules in my house. I don't why I told you that.
ReplyDeletehahah Krista! you crack me up. Thanks Rosalie. that DOES help. That is who I want to be as a parent. I'm not so worried at this point about the boy/girl thing. Maybe if I didn't know the boy, then I would be more concerned. However, I have known him his entire life. I can't say I had the best upbringing as far as rules go, so sometimes I wonder if it's the RIGHT decision. It helps to have a husband who had a completely different upbringing. we meet somewhere in the middle! :) Thanks for your input!
ReplyDeleteDon't say "yes" while under pressure. There is a reason you didn't agree right away. Decide what that reason is and listen to it. You may find it was a really good reason. You may find it was a really lame one. Either way, you will have made a decision you won't second guess. xo
ReplyDeleteHa! Don't know if she is your first child but you may as well get used to the "not fair" card being thrown down a lot. It's pretty useful and often succeeds in making us doubt our first gut reaction to something. Ha! She's a cutie and they look like greta friends!
ReplyDelete