Sunday, September 18, 2011

do you trust your own self?

Do you trust your decisions? Do you trust your feelings? Do you? I think I have made so many mistakes in the past that my judgement is skewed a little. I've made decisions in the past that I was sure were right for me. Years later, or sometimes even days later, I realize it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I'm wondering at what point will I know or have faith in my own thoughts and feelings where I won't question absolutely everything I do.  You would think at my age this would be a given ? I DO make mistakes.Just with more conviction. I think I know the right way.I think I do. I think I do.

Of course I know right from wrong. But what about "right for ME" and "wrong for you?" Those questions come up. We all have a different path and sometimes those right and wrongs become a little muddled. The questions keep coming day after day. Sometimes I want to turn them off, but other days I'm glad they persist. If there were no questions, I would just be going through life accepting all that came my way. I don't want to just float through life. I want to swim. Sometimes I even want to thrash around!

I know I'll probably get a few comments (Krista Ewert) that this is all too vague. Sorry. That's all I can give the masses at this time. I can't divulge all my secrets, now can I?

One thing I have been feeling pretty guilty about, is how much I have been focused on myself. Never being able to run away from my thoughts, has kept me very focused on ME! That leaves little time for anyone else. Friends and family are squeezed in wherever. Instead of making people in my life a priority, I have made myself a priority. For some this might be a good thing. They need to take some time for themselves. But for me......I think I've hit my quota. Focusing on the other people in my life is where I need to aim. It's one thing to keep in tune with who you are and who you are becoming......but all that, is also affected by those around you. I musn't forget that. I think I have lately.
So.......There I am. A work in progress. Who knows what the end result will be?

1 comment:

I truly appreciate your comments and look forward to reading them!