Tuesday, September 13, 2011

...........out goes the wind again.

I am a strong woman. I know this to be true. I have been through a lot and I'm still here. This past year has been full of firsts for me, full of new adventures, new challenges and new friends. Finally fitting in with someone in this small cliquey town was a real surprise and joy. Then....They moved away. Not to worry. There are more friends on the horizon, waiting to take their place in your life. In they go. Stealing your heart and becoming a wonderful part of your day to day. Oh wait. It's time for them to go too. It's not good bye. They will be back. Of this I'm not so sure. Hurt, I tried to remain outside the circles. Me being me, this did not last long. In came a couple more. Friendships were budding and we were becoming close. BAM! Off goes another. Seriously??? I'm not handling this very well. One more to hit the road soon. Friendship, kind words, words of wisdom, shared laughs. I'm enjoying them to the fullest. I've come to realize the inevitability of the next departure. I'll appreciate what I have. I've become closer with other people and they will help me with the transition when the next one leaves.

 Oh guess what??? The transition team is leaving too!!! I'm not sure what the lesson is here that I am supposed to learn. I'm not sure why all this pain is necessary. Really I would like to catch my breath before the wind gets knocked out again. It's like contractions coming so close that you have no time in between to recover. I'm so tired. I'm so grouchy this morning. I know if I let myself.............I would be a huddled mess on the floor. I refuse! I've let out a few tears and felt like I'm gonna explode. Hold it together. I've vowed to let no one new into my life. I know this won't last long but I really need to recuperate. I am only human. My heart is only flesh. It needs time to heal.

......................................and life goes on!


  1. oh dear Erin, this made me so sad. I'm sorry for your losses. Its a huge risk we take to love, but when I see you with those people that you love I am pretty sure you know that it is worth the pain...eventually. I am praying for your broken heart today. Virtual hug until I see you in person! Love you!

  2. I think perhaps leaving is worse than being left. There are lonely people that have moved back East, back West. We KNOW that they are lonely.
    Transition sucks, but no where near as much as stagnation. You're staying here for now, but who knows? Forever? In the meantime, DO NOT refuse the gift of "Erin" to those who remain in this community. And please, never withhold a hello to someone you haven't met yet. You may be JUST THE RIGHT PERSON they need right now.
    Bull the balls right? Live today! LET GOd

  3. Exactly, Lance said it perfectly....a few questions about "bull the balls"....

  4. When we moved to Three Hills from the coast, we left behind many dear dear friendships. I felt like my life was one big "good-bye". I'm happy to report that many of these friendships are beginning to re-sprout, like a flower that was stored under the cupboard in the darkness for years, but still with all the life in the root, just waiting for sunshine and water to bring it back to life. It is lovely to see! As my mom always said, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, and the other gold." You are my golden friend now!


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