Adios!

We leave in a few hours for the hotel. We'll spend the night and then in the wee hours we'll head to the airport. I'm really excited. I've been to Mexico before, but not Cancun. I've been on these business trips before too. So I'm not sure what is different, but I feel different about this trip. It was a full moon last night. I associated my mood with that. I'm not entirely sure that was the only reason for my mood. I can't even really explain it. I even feel different this morning. Everything seems clear. Not foggy. Not bogged down. I don't know how to explain. I like it though. I feel light. Is that possible? To feel light? I'm positive I did not lose any weight over night! LOL

Well.......Whatever the reason, or the feeling, I hope it holds. I haven't felt this 'free' in a long time. Perhaps it is the thought of not having any distractions, not having to make any decisions, not having to worry about anything. I have been doing a lot of that lately. Trying to control everything. Not Letting goD, is very exhausting. I like this feeling, so I'm going to have to try and "let go" more often.

I'll be back in 11 days. Who knows? I may even blog while I'm there. Unlikely, but I've learned to never say never.
Adios!(practicing my Spanish)teehee!

Road trip approaches

I'm still planning my road trip. For those of you wondering what I'm talking about, you can read about it here. I've had a few ideas of places I wanted to visit. As I mentioned it the other day to someone, I realized how close it is. I'm really getting excited.

On my list is : Kamloops, White Rock, Lilly Point, Seattle, Butchart Gardens and possibly Lynn Canyon
Of course there will be many points in between and on the way home, but so far these, are a must.

My mind is whirring with ideas of what to bring, what I want to experience, what I want to eat, all the firsts I will accomplish, and how much planning I want to do ahead of time. I mean the whole point is to "wing it", be free, make decisions on the fly.But I certainly don't want to miss any of my MUSTS, because I spent too much time in a one place or another. It's only a week, and I know it will fly by.

The excitement hadn't really hit me, until yesterday.A  friend told me of a place called Lilly Point, and posted a picture, I thought..." I can go there!" I can go wherever I want. Hello! Light bulb!

Of course all this excitement is not overshadowing the nervousness I'm also experiencing. I've never gone anywhere for a week by myself. I don't think I've ever stayed home for a week by myself either. I mean I will see friends along the way, but essentially I'm on my own. Just typing that, excites me. I LOVE firsts. Makes me feel alive. I'm looking forward to talking with people, hearing their stories, seeing new things, trying new food, overcoming a few fears, and generally fending for myself.  I'll have my phone with me, so I'll always be in touch, when I want to, or feel I have to. I'm sure my family will want me to check in, every once in a while. I know my kids will miss me and want to say hello now and again.

You can bet my stereo will be getting a work out on this trip too. Can't have a road trip without tunes. Songs to sing loudly with, songs for just listening, songs for crying to, and of course songs for drumming on the steering wheel. THAT I will plan ahead!

So you see the area I'm headed. Do you have any ideas for me? Places to visit, places to eat, places to sleep? I welcome your suggestions.

a pep talk for me

I am what I am. Not what you think I am. Not what you want me to be. I am me. ~ M. Ping

I read this quote today. I have a lot of quotes that come across my screens during the day. The sites I subscribe to, the ones my friends do, keep us rolling in the "words of wisdom"!. Some days I don't want to see any of them. Some days I drink them in like each one is only for me. Today was a day that I felt like "unsubscribing" to all of it.Turning it all off. My day was filled with words. Words of good intent but not necessarily full of wisdom.

I've been finding that most people feel like they have a good grasp of what the world is all about. Their view. The path they're on is clear, their belief system is in place and ....~ heaven forbid that should change. Change for some is a dirty word.  A four letter word (figuratively of course). As human beings I wonder how we all got so conceited. Our beliefs seem to be set in stone. We seem to have all the answers. Everyone is right and the others can't possibly know what they are talking about!!! So sure of ourselves are we! How is it that some feel that have all the answers because "this is the way it's always been!" " This is what we know from the past!" "It says here.....!" Why are we all so quick to believe everything that is taught to us? Why can't we draw our own conclusions? If it doesn't feel right to you, then it probably isn't. If it doesn't sit right in your heart, then it's not YOUR truth. But don't question that!!!! Your mind, your elders, your peers, will all tell you that you are the one that's wrong. Feeling with your heart, digging deep into your soul, you know what your truth is. You're afraid. Of course you are. How can I possibly deviate from the norm? How can I follow my own true self? I refer back to the quote at the top of the page. You CAN because it's what you were meant to do.You were meant to be YOU! We're not here to suffer. We're here to be happy. Not at the expense of others. Don't let the masses keep you down. Don't let anyone tell you your own truth. Only you can know what that is.  I say this to myself just as much to anyone else. It's not something we've grown up with. It's NOT ~  "do whatever feels right!" and then you can get away with whatever you want. That's not what I'm saying here. But for goodness sake people....you have to feel something to grow, to evolve! We are not meant to exist, suffer, make do, tolerate, our lives. We were meant to LIVE them. So few of us really do.

I could go on but I think I'm done giving myself a pep talk. Any further and I'll be getting hate mail for sure. I'm not putting down anyone else's beliefs. I just wish we were all a little more aware of what we were doing and why we are doing it. Is it really what you want to be doing?? Or is it what you think you should be doing? Unfortunately some don't know the difference. LOVE! Let love be your guide. Whether to embrace, or let go...............do it with love!

I got this today posted to my fb wall from a dear friend. I love it and thought I would share it with you! Thanks for reading my thoughts. It feels good to get them out.......~ :)

Let go of what holds you back. Let go of your fears. Let go of your inhibitions. Let go of your past. Let go of the things that you can’t control. Let go of what hurts. Let go of your insecurities. Let go of the people who are walking away. Let go of the safety cord. Let go of what ifs. Let go of guilt. Let go of grudges. Let go of your comfort zone. Let go of the sadness. Let go of painful memories. Let go of regret. Let go of what can’t be. Let go of yourself. And Let God do the rest.- Unknown

Editing my flawed thinking.........

On this day of your life, Erin, we believe God wants you to know ... that you are what you think of all day long.
Day after day your thoughts shape you like dripping water shapes rock. Pay attention to what you are habitually thinking about, - are your thoughts serving you well? 


This is an app(called 'God wants you to know') that I subscribe to on fb. I receive it every day. Most days I feel like it's exactly what I needed to hear but other days, I know it is; but choose to look the other way. Today I'm NOT ignoring it.  ' My thoughts are not serving me well.'  I'm so good at convincing myself that what I think, what I know, what I want and what I need are the RIGHT things.I also did a post about trusting your own self which plays a lot into my decision making about letting go. I got a tattoo on my wrist to remind myself every day that I am not in control, and I'm even ignoring that. My need to direct, where my life goes, and even the lives of others, is taking over my life. Letting go and letting God is not as easy as it sounds. I have some serious work to do. I'm trying. I really am. Some days it just seems so overwhelming.

Do you ever follow signs and clues, believing that this is the universe directing you on a path that is for you alone? I do this all the time. The problem is that I don't trust my decisions. Once I am well on my way down a certain road, I start the questions. Lately I have been filling my days and nights, searching. Keeping busy, living life, looking for the signs of where I'm supposed to go. To tell you the truth, I'm exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. My heart hurts, my head throbs and I'm not sure that I'm any further ahead. In fact, I'm sure I'm behind. Feeling like I've been focusing so much on making sure that the path I'm on is right, I've neglected to notice the things around me that are important (or should be important). I'm hoping today that this is a moment of clarity and not just another misguided epiphany. I seem to be having those a lot.( the misguided ones)


How do you  let go? How do you just be? Why do I feel like I always need to be paying attention or I'm going to miss it? I'll miss the opportunity to do what I was meant to do? How do I turn this off? I don't know the answers. And that's why I search . Do you see the vicious cycle?????

I'm jealous. I'm jealous of those who seem to KNOW where they belong. They are exactly where they should be; doing what makes them feel alive. They have passion for something. People see that and envy them for it. I am one of the envious. I'm not sure how to achieve all these lofty goals I have; but I'm trying. That's all I'm asking of myself today.






side note: I hope you enjoy the music. Daryl Wilson is a good friend of mine and very talented!! These songs are on the album called Here Boy!